Cross-culture bitchiness

First, a little bit of back story:

A few months ago I was sitting in my classroom (as I'm wont to do) when *knock knock* there was someone at the door! "Come in" I say, expecting a student who forgot something. To my suprise it's an adult! A teacher come to visit? What are the odds? "Hello Margaret, can I talk to you for a few minutes?" I set about offering her a seat and heating water for tea. Generally making her comfortable while racking my brain to recognize her. "Oh, you are so polite" she says. "Of course, I want you to be comfortable" Teachers so rarely come to see me and when they do they are usually quite nervous so I do my best to set them at ease. "What do you want to talk about?" I ask, figuring she wants to practice her English a bit.
Then, this stranger who knew my name, launches into a sales pitch for Korean Exchange Bank. She knows I'm with NH bank and is telling me why KEB is better and has a whole line about credit cards. I tell her I don't want a credit card, I'm uncomfortable with them. In America most people have debt so I'm avoiding them. She talks down to me a little about controlled spending but I shake it off. I politely thank her and tell her no, I am quite happy with NH, just recently they had gotten me a debit card that I could use abroad and their service was exemplory, but yes, I'll accept her card and brochure about credit cards and send her on her merry way.

Not long after that NH called me to say that because I'm a foriegner my card doesn't actually work abroad and I should try and get a credit card. I asked if I could get a credit card and was told no, because I'm a foriegner. LAME. After that run-around I decided maybe I should change my banks. After all, KEB has cheap cheap money transfers and free online banking. They're designed to deal with foriegners.

To our main story:

Yesterday I emailed her reminding her who I was and saying "I'm not ready for a credit card but I'd like to open a bank account. What do I need to do?"

She replied:
I will visit you today
Thank you for your email
Talk to soon
xx (the x's are her name)


I had a very busy day yesterday (Heck, I'm having a very busy week) so I replied:

If you come today, please don't come until after three. I'm teaching before then.
Thank you
Margaret

and then it was radio silence until I got a botchy phone call around 4:20 from the office asking me if I was late and had made any promises and was Helen (my co-teacher) in the room. Mildly confused I said I had no promises and Helen was in the teachers lounge. A minute later the intercom went off asking Helen to call the Vice Principal. Not overly concerned I went about my afternoon. The day was almost over I'd written the bank lady off and figured she'd come tomorrow.

Helen came in, agitated and asked me if anyone called for her. "Toe Gum" (Not the right spelling, but that's how it sounded to me.) "called for you. Did you hear the intercom?"
"Yes, Margaret, did you have an appointment?"
"No, I didn't"
"Really? Someone called for you."
"What? OH! It must have been the bank lady, what happened?"
"Margaret, the Vice Principal is upset. This person was rude, rude to the Vice Principal!"
"Oh NO! Helen, what happened? I'm sorry, are we in trouble?"

Helen urged me to call xx and tell her not to come to the school. We didn't need to get into more trouble.

I called xx and she aked if I'd gotten her message and could I wait afterschool to talk with her. I said I was in trouble with my boss and I couldn't talk today. She kept asking why I was in trouble and she just called to say she'd be late, she was almost to my school, it wasn't her fault I was in trouble, things of that vein. I told her I was in trouble and had to talk about I'd explain later.

Helen told me how when xx called she didn't introduce herself, diddn't ask to speak to me, or say who she was working for, just to tell me that she was late. The VP was upset to be spoken to so abruptly and for having 'private business' calling the office.

While Helen was explaining all this I got this text:
that lady has no any reason to be angry I just contacted you because I was late

When I got home I found an email time stamped 4:19 :
May I visit you soon in 15 min?

Oh well. I didn't worry to much about it but figured xx deserved an explanation so I wrote her this email today:

XX,
This is the reason why I couldn't talk to you yesterday.

I was not sure you were coming so I didn't tell my co-teacher Helen. I didn't see any reason to if you were not coming. You called the school, and spoke like you would to me, or to a secretary. However "that lady" was my schools Vice Principal. My boss. She said you didn't introduce yourself, say why you were calling, what company you represented or even ask to speak to me directly (they could have transfered your call to my room). She felt you were rude and was confused since no one knew what you were talking about. She then chastized Helen. I have been warned not to invite you to the school since changing bank accounts is private business and this is my work place.
So please don't come here, and please don't call the school again. You have my number now if you have any questions.
I will find a KEB office and apply in person.
Thank you for pointing me towards Korean Exchange Bank I'm excited to open an account with them and will be sure to mention that you helped me.

Margaret


Seemed clear and polite enough to me. Apparently I was wrong.


Good morning and thank you for your criticism.
I sent my message when I could visit you (second response from the bottom) yesterday.
Yes, I also contacted you before late arriving because I worried you would wait for me so long.
When i called your school (this was only way to let you know what i do instantly, I did introduce my self that I was the person to have an appointment with you as we communicate through email and ask if I could ask to you for my late arrival through her(your principle)
That was all I said yesterday.
If she ever felt that I were very rude, I can't help about this because all I did was what I did say as the above.
If she really felt so, she just should have talk to me then first anyway. She just told me "Yes and Ok"
Second,
I couldn't know that I have to let your co-worker, Helen know first about my visit and I just thought this was your personal issue and right to decide (I never visit the person who are in class, i just can meet him/her while they are having break time)
No of course I won't visit you and I don't want to have a customer who can't remember what you said each other neither.
Why I enter your business area?
I am one of a parent or as a visitor, I can enter to your school (your school may have the policy about this point)
Thank you for making me not involved in you again.
xx.



What? Was I really that rude? Was my email inappropriate? Am I reading to much into "Thank you for making me not involved in you again." Because that seems like a super bitchy thing to say to anyone, much less a(n almost) customer who thanked you. I've had an upset stomach all day because of this. Now I'm divided into three parts, part of me wants to write an equally snarky email back giving her actual cricisms and telling her she's driven me away from KEB and I'm going to contact her bank and complain about her. A very small part of me wants to write her back and apologize for the misunderstanding, that she didn't need to contact Helen, that was my fault and I wasn't criticizing but trying to explain, and did she talk to the VP in English because that might explain the short answers. Then there's the part that's actually going to happen which is not responding at all and just thinking angry thoughts at her.

So yeah. Crabby today.

To add an extra level of creepiness, since she knew my name the first time she called I totally assumed she was visiting with the schools blessing. I mentioned that to Helen hoping it would make things a little better but she said no, the school wouldn't do something like that since I already had a bank account. How did she know my name? How did she know where to find me? CREEPY B****